One year ago this week I was
diagnosed with a brain tumor. After months and months of terrible headaches - including three visits to my primary care physician, a handful of appointments to two different chiropractors, and many many massages which did nothing to help - I finally got to see a neurologist to get to the root of the problem.
Day Before Diagnosis - Fun Day At Dreamforce
During my visit with the neurologist he gave me the impression that he didn't think my headaches indicated anything serious, referred me to physical therapy for "neck spasms" with a follow up with him in a month, and referred me off for an MRI. I had my MRI the following week, and two days after that appointment that I received "The Call".
I was told the doctor needed to see me right away - that afternoon - and that he wasn't even scheduled to come in that day but was coming in just to see me. I agreed to come in a few hours later and called David to meet me there. In the mean time I was on my way to meet a friend for lunch and had a really hard time keeping it together. I felt like crying. I felt like puking. I had no idea what to expect. Later that afternoon I received the news - I had a brain tumor. Along with delivering this news my doctor also said to me "This looks bad. This looks REALLY bad." Shouldn't doctors not phrase things like that?
He then continued to say to me "I don't know how you're taking this so well. If it was me, I wouldn't be." Okay, so I was crying. Was that not an indication of this not being good news for me? What was wrong with this guy?? Luckily that day was the last I time I saw him. It was my last appointment with neurology, and soon after I had my first appointments with neurosurgery, neurooncology, and radiation oncology. (All of those doctors by the way were awesome.)
Two weeks after receiving the "really bad" news, I was in the hospital for
surgery. I had a tumor biopsy and shunt placement, but sadly no tumor resection since my tumor was considered inoperable.
Day After Surgery - Channeling Brett Michaels
After surgery I did
emergency in vitro fertilization and embryo freezing to preserve my eggs before chemo tainted them, and then I started a six week regimen of daily radiation and oral chemo.
My Eggs Are Safe!
Radiation and chemo
went quickly, and with the start of the new year I went from a low daily dose of chemo to a higher dose with a 5 days on/23 days off regimen.
Graduation Day From Radiation
Starting My New Dose Of Chemo
Along the way I became paranoid and worried about every little thing that seemed "off" with me. Early in the year I thought I found a lump in my neck and feared that thyroid cancer was next. Fortunately it was nothing and I didn't have a secondary cancer to worry about. One benefit of having cancer is that your health concerns are taken seriously, and addressed almost immediately. When I first asked for a MRI for my headaches it took months and a few appointments before I received a referral. Post diagnosis it only took one conversation with my neurooncologist regarding being worried about thyroid cancer before he immediately referred me for a neck ultrasound.
Lump Near My Thyroid
Medical Consultation With David's Mom Via Text Message
The past year has gone very quickly and really wasn't as bad as I had expected. I didn't quite know what to expect, but I feared for the worst. I was afraid I'd be tired, sick, bald, and on disability. I'm happy to say that for the most part (aside from my diagnosis), this past year has been great. I've continued to run, I'm still racing, I've continued working full-time, my friends and family have been amazingly supportive, and best of all life has gone on.
Due to surgery I was forced to miss a marathon I was training for last October, but I was able to run my first "
Powered by Chemo" marathon this past March. I also ran two half marathons, two 15Ks, four 5Ks, and a 4-mile race. Now don't you feel lazy? JK ;o)
Team Mokie With Mokie On A Stick At The Marine Corps Marathon
First "Race" Post Surgery ... We Walked
Color Run - November 2012
First Running 5K Post Surgery
Jingle Bell 5K - December 2012
Resolution Run 15K - January 2013
First Half Marathon During Chemo
Mermaid Half Marathon - February 2013
Cardiff Kook Run - February 2013
First Marathon During Chemo
LA Marathon - March 2013
LA Brain Tumor 5K - May 2013
San Francisco Half Marathon - June 2013
Coronado 15K - July 2013
End of Summer Fire Run - August 2013
I've cut back on my running and racing a lot since my diagnosis, but have started to enjoy cheering for races that I might have once participated in.
Cheering At The San Diego Half Marathon
Cheering At The San Diego Rock n Roll Marathon
Over the past year the hair I lost to surgery and radiation has started to grow back, and I'm fortunate enough to be on a chemo that hasn't taken the rest.
Radiation Hairloss Rihanna Style
Radiation Hair Growing Out Ungracefully
Hair Shaved For Surgery Slowly Growing Out
Missing Hair Disguised By Hair Extensions
The biggest and best news from this past year by far was that I got
engaged to, and later
married David. Marrying David has been a dream come true, and getting to spend a long life with him is my daily motivation to do what I can to beat this "incurable" cancer.
David Proposed After His Birthday Dinner
Married In Maui July 20th
I celebrated a pivotal birthday this past year (the big 3-5!) and really enjoyed and appreciated the milestone that a birthday was - another year of living!
Mika Turned 10 In April
"Monailk" Celebrated 35 In June :)
Kona Turned 9 In July
This past year has also shown me how much love I have from friends, family, and coworkers, and through cancer I have surprisingly made new friends as well.
Cards From Loved Ones Near And Far
Brain Tumor Warriors - Living With Cancer
Stupid Cancer Holiday Celebration
Relay For Life La Jolla
I've had friends, family, running friends, and strangers continue to show their support through
Miles for Mokie, and my Girls on the Run friends even put on a
Miles for Mokie walk complete with tiaras and tutus on the day that I was supposed to run the Marine Corps Marathon in the Fall.
Miles for Mokie Walk
Wisconsin Family Showing Miles for Mokie Love
Fellow San Francisco Marathon Ambassador Love
Cousin Giselle's Tri Miles for Mokie
Girls on the Run Miles for Mokie
Cousin Donna's Miles for Mokie
As I've started to slow down and focus less on PRs, racing for time, and the endless competition with myself, I've been able to enjoy running more for the social aspect and friendships that it brings.
Running With Simone By The Harbor
Running With Tara In Maui
Running Powered By Schwings! Shoe-Wings
Girls On The Run Coaches And Friends
Girls On The Run Love To Run!
My one year cancerversary gives me somewhat mixed feelings. I'm sad thinking back to a year ago when my life was disrupted by this horrible disease, but I'm happy thinking about how full my life has been and how many great things have happened over the past year. My cancer has no cure and the future is still unknown, but I'm proud to say that cancer hasn't stopped me from living life to the fullest.
Cue Beyonce "I'm A Survivor"
If you'd like to celebrate this past year with me and and many more to come, please consider making a tax deductible donation to my fundraising efforts for the neurooncology lab at UCSD where I'm currently being treated. Brain cancer takes too many lives each year, and I don't want it to take mine. Cheers to my one year cancerversary, and many more to come!
Click
here for information about donating.
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