LA Marathon - Powered By Chemo

Its been about two weeks since I ran my last marathon. I still can't believed it happened! This was my 19th marathon ever, but first marathon while battling brain cancer. I ran this race fresh off my new peak dose of chemo, ready for whatever my body was capable of, and aware that I might not make it to the finish line due to chemo fatigue. 

Thanks to years of marathon training though, a lot of determination, the support of my amazing friend Tara, and the grace of God, we finished the race side by side 5 hours and 24 minutes later. This was my slowest marathon ever, but the most fulfilling.

I could blather on endlessly about how amazing this race was and how happy I am that I ran, but I'll just let these pictures tell the story.

Wonder Woman Outfit Ready to Go!

Tutu by Glam Runner

Picking up my Number at the Expo

Race Morning - Ready to Run

"Powered by Chemo"

and

"Impossible Things Happen Every Day"

Students Run LA Kids

Some of them were as young as 13!

First Photo Checkpoint - Mile 5

Bumped into SF Marathon Ambassador Laura

Mile 10 - Almost Halfway Done

Bumped into Glam Runner Norma - Go Tutus!

Glam Heroes Cheer Station at Mile 11

Look Who Made it to Mile 15? We Did!

Super Girl Showing off her Flying Skills

Mile 20 - Seriously? We're almost done!

Photo with Firemen, Why Not?

Mile 26 - Nothing but Victory From Here to the Finish

Met Another Wonder Woman Cheering on the Course

A Third Wonder Woman Joined Us for the Picture

Approaching the Finish Line

These Moments Make it All Worth It!

LA Marathon 2013 - WE DID IT!!!

And so did the guy with the box of Krispy Kremes??

Happy Finishers - Can't Smile Much Bigger

My Favorite Fan - David Showed up at SIX Locations

My Awesome Support Crew - Cousin Giselle, Christina, & David

Love my SF/LA Marathon Challenge Medal

It's hard to believe its been almost two weeks since the marathon. I wish it hadn't passed yet so I could experience the day all over again! I had so much fun running in costume through the streets of LA, and each mile that I ran made me feel more and more like my old self and let me believe for just a few hours that I was a strong and healthy person, not a cancer patient.  Huge thanks go out to my friend Tara for running with me. She trained with me for months, ran as slow as I needed to, walked whenever I asked, and never complained once. Her selfless attitude really made this whole experience possible for me, and I couldn't have run without her. Also huge thanks to David for spending the morning driving from one spot to another on the course and for showing up and making me smile six different times. I also loved seeing my marathon wifey Christina at a couple spots on the course, and my cousin Giselle at the finish.

Next up on my calendar is the San Francisco Half Marathon in June, and then mayyybeeeee Tara and I will run the Long Beach Marathon in October. I'm already at marathon #19 - might as well run one more and get to marathon #20!

Marathon #19 - On Chemo

Tomorrow I will be running the LA Marathon! On chemo! Okay, well not technically on chemo - I took my last pill for this round on Monday night. Even though its been almost a week, I still feel the effects. I'm on chemo 5 days a month, and then get the next 23 days to recover. I usually feel pretty tired during the two weeks after the chemo, enjoy several days of feeling "normal" again ... and then its time to start the next round.

LA Marathon 2006

Marathon #4 on my 4 year anniversary of racing!
First race was the Mercury Times 10K in 2002.

Last year before I was diagnosed with a brain tumor I was in the middle of training for the Marine Corps Marathon. I had run marathons #17 and #18 earlier in the year, Carlsbad (recap) and San Francisco (recap), and was planning to run #19 and #20 in October and December. Well, life had other plans and my training came to a screeching halt and I soon found myself in the hospital for brain surgery, followed by radiation and chemo for six weeks. As soon as I was cleared to run post-surgery, I started to go for easy 3-4 mile runs in Balboa Park. The more I ran, the more I felt like my old self. After a few weeks, the idea of running marathon #19 crept back into my head. I thought about it for a while and looked at what races were coming up next year and decided on the LA Marathon in March. 

First Long Run with GOTR Friends

In December I officially started training for the LA Marathon and started up with my Saturday long runs. As always, life had other plans. Chemo was pretty rough on me in January and I barely got off the couch for two weeks. February was much better but still had me out for a full week. I'm proud to say that in March though .. I ran throughout the whole month! Granted I missed a lot of training runs here and there since I was starting a new job and had less time in the morning thanks to a terrible commute, but I was still out there.

Mermaid Half Marathon - My First On-Chemo Race

There are so many reasons why I want to run the LA Marathon. First and foremost, its because I love running and I love running marathons. The second reason is because I feel like marathon #19 was stolen from me by cancer, and I want to take it back. Other reasons? I don't know, there are so many. Being able to run regularly makes me feel invincible, it makes me feel like I don't have an "incurable" cancer, and it makes me feel like anything is possible.

16 Mile Run - Furthest Since My Diagnosis

20 Mile Run - Unstoppable!

If you told me 10 years ago that I could run a marathon I would have thought you were crazy. It seemed as impossible to me as lifting a car with my bare hands. In the past 7 years though I've managed to do what I thought was impossible 18 times, and hopefully 19 after this weekend. Running has been an amazing part of my life, and I think it has conditioned me to face my new life challenges with cancer with more hope and determination. When you're tired, you keep going. When you doubt yourself, you try to dig deep and push further. If you think a goal is out of reach, try to create a plan for how you're going to get there, and then go for it.

LA/SF Marathon Challenge Medal - Getting Mine Sunday!

LA Marathon Outfit - Powered By Chemo

Tutu by Glam Runner

Tomorrow I'll be running the LA Marathon to prove to myself yet again that nothing is impossible. Its going to be a slow race for me, but one of the most meaningful. If you want to track my progress you can sign up for text or email alerts online here. If you're up early, say a prayer for me. And if you're out on the course, give me and Tara a high five!

Cheering at the San Diego Half Marathon

My LA Marathon Story

Next weekend on March 17th I'm planning on running the LA Marathon. This marathon means more to me than any other marathon I have ever run. (Well except possibly my first one.)

I was on the LA Marathon website recently and saw that you could submit your story. I immediately wanted to share my story in case it helps others going through something similar. When diagnosed with cancer it is easy to give up on life and stop living. I refuse to do that though and have kept on living my life - with a huge part of my life being running. I may be slow now, but I'm still out there.

My Marathon Story:

Last fall I was training for my 3^rd marathon in 2012 and my 19^th marathon ever when I received terrible news. The headaches I had been experiencing for the past six months weren’t from a neck sprain, stress, or some other “normal” condition. They were being caused by a brain tumor. Just a few days after completing a 16-mile long run, I was in the hospital discussing a treatment plan for the next few months. As the neurologist talked to me about surgery, radiation, and chemo, one of the first things I asked him was if he thought I could still run the Marine Corps Marathon the following month. He looked at me dumbstruck for a minute before telling me  “No, don’t plan on it. You’re going to be very busy.”

Busy meant a number of things. I was in the hospital two weeks later for brain surgery. Due to the location of the tumor it could not be removed surgically, so the course of treatment for me would be radiation and chemo. The purpose of my surgery was to biopsy the tissue and to install a shunt to drain the fluid that was building up in my brain and causing my headaches. Following the surgery I wasn’t allowed to be physically active for a month. A whole month! The month was difficult to wait out but I made it through the month …. Only to be confronted with radiation and chemo as soon as I was “recovered”. 

When I first consulted with the radiation oncologist and we discussed the course of treatment, he warned me that most people ended up on disability by the end of the six weeks and weren’t able to work. I was scared by this possibility but I was still hopeful. I had made it through my surgery with flying colors and recovered faster than expected, so maybe this would be the same. Fortunately I was right! I was able to work throughout the six-week period AND I was able to continue running 4-5 times a week. As I continued to run throughout my treatment I started to think about running marathon #19 – the marathon that had been taken away from me. After looking at a few races in the area I set my eyes on the LA marathon. I ran LA once before in 2006 and loved it. I had also run the San Francisco Marathon in 2012 so running LA in 2013 would qualify me for the LA/SF Marathon Challenge medal.  I talked to one of my favorite crazy marathon friends who is always down to race with me to see if she’d run LA with me, by my side. She was in!

Although I left radiation treatment behind me in 2012, chemo is still a part of my life. I’m currently on a 5 days on / 23 days off regimen for 2013 and possibly 2014.  During the chemo week and part of the week following, I’m pretty tired. At times I’m not just tired, I’m exhausted. If I’m able to run, I’m running pretty slowly. I get winded really easily now and need to take frequent walk breaks, but I’m happy to just be able to get out there. I PR’d in the marathon in December 2011 with a 3:57. After years and years of trying, I was finally able to break 4 hours! In my current state I’ll be happy to finish the LA Marathon in under 6 hours. Training has been difficult and my long runs have been incredibly slow, but getting myself out there helps me prove to myself that I can still do things in life that I could do before my diagnosis. Running is a huge part of my life that I don’t want to give up. Running marathons is a part of who I am.

Throughout my treatment and training this year I wasn’t even sure I’d make it to the start line of the LA Marathon. If I do, I’m not sure I will make it to the finish. I will have one of my closest friends running and walking by my side the whole way, and I can’t wait for us to get to the finish next Sunday, regardless of the time on the finish clock. LA Marathon – my brain tumor and I are coming for you!

Round 2 & 2 Races

So far for this month I ran a 5K, started Round 2 of chemo, and ran a half marathon. 

Cardiff Kook Run

This time last year I was training for my first bike race (66 miles in May) with my friend Kathryn. Each weekend consisted of a long ride that usually went up the coast, and one weekend when we were biking through Cardiff I saw a group of costumed runners parading by. Apparently we had happened upon the Caridiff Kook Run.  (More about the Cardiff Kook here.) The costumes we saw were hilarious and everyone looked like they were having a lot of fun, and I mentally filed this race away as one that I would consider for next year. As luck would have it a discount code for this race came up late last year and Tara and I quickly registered.

As we were discussing costume ideas I suggested one that I've wanted to do for years - Thing 1 and Thing 2 from Dr. Seuss! (I've suggested this as a couples costume to David several times to no avail....) Tara loved the idea and immediately started looking for things we could wear to create the costume. As founders of Glam Runner we of course had to work tutus in! We got blue wigs, red tanks, and "Thing" signs -  and we were ready.

Introducing Thing 1 & Thing 2

Girls on the Run Love

Thing 1 & Thing 2 Action Shots

I used to run 5Ks all out, gasping for breath, and chasing down a new PR. Those days are behind me for now and I was relieved to just have an easy fun run along the beach with my favorite running twin. Costumes encouraged? Even better! We had a lot of fun during this race and I would totally come back to run it again. Thanks Tara for being my Thing 1!

Glamorous Life of Being a Thing

Chemo Round 2

The plan for my treatment this year is to take a 'double dose' of chemo (2x the dose I was on during radiation) for 5 days a month in January, and then a 'triple dose' 5 days a month each month from February on. I had a rough start to January and was really sick the first night but okay after that. I was also severely fatigued during the treatment week and a few days after as well ... but I also barely ate for a week so I'm not sure how much that played into it. I'm sure it made me more tired, but was it responsible for all of my fatigue? Thanks to my rough first month on the double dose I've been dreading February and the triple dose. I keep thinking oh man, if I felt bad in January, I'm only going to feel worse in February! 

Fortunately, I saw my neurooncologist on Tuesday and he told me to repeat my double dose in February and not to go up to the higher dose yet since I didn't "tolerate it well" the first time. Whew! I was relieved to have another chance to get through the week hopefully feeling fine which would give me more confidence to tackle the triple dose the following month. 

Poison Down the Hatch

I'm currently on chemo day 4 of 5 and feeling pretty normal. I also haven't gotten sick at all this round thanks to two different anti-nausea prescriptions. Last month day 4 was when I really started to get tired though and it lasted through day 10 it seemed ... so we'll see. 

Mermaid Half Marathon

Last month I was sick Day 1, ran 10 miles on Day 2, felt okay Day 3, and then slowly melted into fatigue from Day 4 on. This month since I was totally fine on Day 1, I started to think about how far I could run on Day 2. My LA Marathon training plan had me running 16-18 miles which were totally out of the question ... but hmm ... what about 13? A number of my friends were signed up for the Mermaid Half Marathon on Saturday and after telling everyone I didn't want to run that race for months, suddenly I did. I figured if I went out on my own and tried to do a 14 mile long run there was a good chance I'd poop out and cut it short. At least in a race I'd have a lot more motivation to get to the finish line even if I had to walk the last few miles.

Tara put out a call on facebook for anyone giving away/selling their bib and managed to find a bib for me at the last minute. Score! To get into the mermaid spirit all of our friends running the race planned on dressing up like mermaids decked out with shells and tutus. Sadly I was late to the start of the race and forgot my tutu in the car, so I decided not to bother with the shells either. Sad face. 

Mermaid Half Marathon

This race holds a special place in my heart since it is my standing half marathon PR. I ran this race in 2011 and finished in 1:49! (Race recap here.) I know that PRs are out for this year while I go through chemo, and for the first time in a long time during a race I wondered if I could even make it to the finish line. 

The race was tough on me mentally and seemed like it was never going to end, but thanks to the company and encouragement of Rachel and Tara I made it to the finish! Yay! My mermaid bodyguards stayed by my side the entire race, dealt with my complaints and doubt, walked with me when I needed a walk break, and got me to the finish line of my first on-chemo half marathon. Our finish time? 2:13 My slowest half marathon ever, but probably the one that I'm the most proud of. 

Running With My Bodyguards

For those of you that are worried that I pushed myself too far ... well did you read how slowly we ran? Just kidding. On a serious note I wouldn't have run the race at all if I wasn't feeling up to it. I also wouldn't have finished the race if something had started to feel wrong. This race was tough for me mentally because I no longer 'know' what my body can do, and it was tough for me physically because it was the farthest I'd run in months. 

Running is a huge part of my life and a big part of who I am. Being able to finish this race has given me a lot more confidence in my fight against cancer. Cancer hasn't taken away one of the most important things in my life yet, and I hope that it never will. I may be a lot slower, but I'm still out there running!

Update for the New Year

Wow, its been a while since I've updated my blog! My last post was from mid-December when we were in West Virginia for two weeks to spend the holidays with David's family. The two weeks flew by between family activities, snow runs, and some nice rest and relaxation. 

Kona Drugged Up on the Plane

With the Nieces - Hello Kitty Shirts!

Shrek the Halls Ice Show in DC

The Ice Sculptures Were Amazing!

First MRI

A few days after we got back to San Diego I was scheduled for my first post-radiation/chemo MRI. My radiation oncologist and neuro-oncologist both told me that what we wanted to see was that the tumor hadn't grown. That would be a win. I told them both that I instead would be hoping that the tumor was GONE. Hey, I know that's unrealistic, but one can hope.

I've had a couple MRIs before and this one was just as pleasant (or possibly more pleasant) than the others! Can you smell the sarcasm? If you haven't had an MRI you're lucky. Being stuffed into a tube with your head constrained by foam blocks and a cage while the machine beeps, clicks, and makes endless other horrible noises for an hour is NOT fun. But oh well, its a necessary evil and regular part of my life now.  At least it doesn't hurt.

Anyways, getting to the important part - I saw my neuro-oncologist the day after my MRI and we received good news. The tumor has shrunk!! Granted the shrinkage is minimal, but its better than it staying the same size so I'm happy. If I had to estimate I'd say it looked about 3-5% smaller based on what we saw. The chemo and radiation worked!

Resolution Run

A few days after my positive MRI I was scheduled to run my first race of the year. I use the word "race"loosely since my main goal was just to finish. I had run this race the past two years and last year's race was my standing PR. I had much lower expectations this year since I had only been running a few miles (slowly) just to stay in shape. Luckily Tara was signed up for this race as well and kept me company the whole time. I'm proud to say that we only took a tiny walk break through the water station and otherwise ran the whole way!  We finished with my slowest 15K time ever, but it still felt like a win.

Resolution Run 15K - Beautiful Day in San Diego

Mini Mermaid Club

On the afternoon of the Resolution Run I had plans to meet my friend Karin and her group of girls in the Mini Mermaid Running Club. This club is similar to the Girls on the Run program and has different themes for each lesson. The lesson that Karin had asked me to attend was the lesson on role models. Karin introduced me to the group and talked about how I had cancer and how I continued to run throughout my treatment.

Talking to the Mini Mermaid Running Club

I talked to the girls about having cancer, loving to run, finding motivation when I was tired, and how much it helped to have friends around who were encouraging me. At one point I asked the girls if they knew what chemo was. Several girls raised their hands and the one I called on said "chemo is when your hair falls out". Haha yes. Chemo is when your hair falls out. The girls asked a few other questions and then I passed some of my race medals around for them to see. 

Mini Mermaid Running Club

After I left, the girls had to complete a workbook exercise on the lesson and their answers were so cute! I was a little nervous about speaking to this group at first since I had no idea what level of conversation was appropriate with 8-10 year olds when it came to cancer, but it all went well in the end and I'm glad I had the opportunity to go. Thanks Karin for inviting me!

Don't Give Up Something You Love

New Dose of Chemo

While I was going through radiation for six weeks last year I was taking a lower dose of Temodar (130mg) everyday. For this year I will be on a higher dose for 5 days of the month, and then I have a 23 day break. For January, I was on double the original strength (250mg) and in February on for the rest of the year I will be on triple the original strength. (Assuming my body can take it of course.) I will have blood tests twice a month to monitor my blood counts, and if things are looking off and it seems like I'm not recovering properly the next dose of Temodar will be postponed.

When I received the prescription for the January dose I pored over the package insert. I hadn't done this the first time since I figured whatever was going to happen would happen. This time I read through all of the side effects to mentally prepare myself for something "worse". The most common side effects that were reported were fatigue, nausea, vomiting, anorexia, and hair loss. Awesome. I knew to expect the fatigue and nausea, but anorexia? What did that mean? Well, about three days into taking the new dose I got it. Not only did I totally lose my appetite, I couldn't stand to eat. Most foods were unappealing to me, and several suddenly became repulsive to me. The smell of David cooking bacon one day sent me running into the other room. Bacon?! I love bacon!

For a little over a week I could barely force myself to eat anything. Cereal, fruit, and crackers were about all I could tolerate, but they don't make for a balanced meal and if I had to estimate I'd say I probably only consumed 300-400 calories each day. I was also pretty tired for the week and I'm sure starving to death only contributed to this. For this coming month though I have a new plan. I bought a case of Ensure (okay fine, I bought Costco's generic version) and I plan on drinking a few of those a day. They're pretty concentrated in calories and vitamins and I have my fingers crossed that the taste of them doesn't turn me off. 

As far as hair loss goes ... a lot of hair started coming out during the week I was on the chemo. When I'd brush my hair there seemed to be 3-4 times as much hair in my brush. This ended a few days after I stopped taking the chemo. Thank God! I'm praying that losing hair each month doesn't leave me bald by year end. I only have half a head of long hair to begin with! :(

Carlsbad Marathon

Two weekends after my new stronger dose of Temodar I ran the Carlsbad Marathon! Just kidding, I totally didn't. I ran last year with Tara and had plans of pacing her though the last 8-10 miles this year, but unfortunately I just wasn't feeling back to normal yet and decided to spectate instead. I felt fine being up and out and about during the day, but I was still pretty fatigued when I ran and I didn't want to push my body. David and I drove up to Carlsbad to cheer on Tara and several of my other Girls on the Run friends and we got to see them run by at miles 16, 20, and the finish. 

Carlsbad Marathon Finishers - Go Girls on the Run!

It was hard to stand on the sidelines of a race and I actually started crying at one point. I was excited to see my friends, but I was so sad that this was something I wasn't sure I'd be able to do again.

LA Marathon

Speaking of being able to run a marathon ... I'm signed up for the LA Marathon in March and have been somewhat training for the race, but my training is way off schedule because of the chemo and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to run at this point. I thought that I'd only be down for one week from the chemo. I didn't realize that I'd be totally out from running for one week and then slowly starting to feel better for the next two weeks. By the time I feel strong enough its time for the next round. Only being able to complete one long run per month is not adequate for a marathon. 

For now I'm listening to my body and only running as far as I feel like I can. I have regular blood tests and of course I won't run at all if things don't look right. If my blood tests do look okay though and I'm feeling strong enough and trained enough, I'm going to try for LA. Tara said she'd stick by my side and she'd be okay if we even had to walk most of the race. From a sub-4 hour marathon to wondering if I can even run/walk a marathon. Life changes so quickly! Don't take it for granted.